mundane existence

Sunday 23rd January 2000

08:56

wakes
opens eyes
turns to look at clock
sleeps
wakes
turns over
sleeps
Glad that it is Sunday and that there is a day of free choices ahead of me. I'm dozing in and out of reality not really wanting to get up and not really wanting to sleep. Know that I will have to getup to go to the toilet.

08:58

wakes
turns onto back
runs hands through hair three times
rubs left eye
Feels like my hair is all sticking right up, makes my scalp feel horrible at the root of that weight.

09:00

gets out of bed
I need to find pen and paper if I am going to do this project today, before I forget all of the things I have done so far. I Think there’s some paper in the spare room.

09:01

walks to spare room
opens wardrobe
takes paper
walks to table
picks up pen
Wardrobe door is ropey, I can't get it to open properly, oh never mind, I'll fix it later when I am not worrying about this. The computer speakers are still turned on, I can see the red light under the table.
I'm irritated at having to document all of this trivia, probably worried that it's not going to work and that I am not going to be able to use the information I spend all day building up. I am not really sure how much detail I need and which bits are more important, after all it's impossible to document it all.

09:02

walks back to bedroom
sits down and writes
Need to check the time, I don't have my watch on.

09:04

Finished writing all that stuff. I really need to go to the loo now, so I'm going. I wonder where I've left my watch.

09:05

walks to bathroom
pushes door to
sits down on toilet
urinates
takes toilet paper
wipes
stands up
flushes
turns round
Seat's not as cold as I expected and I can feel the warmth from the radiator next to me.
I'm checking my face in the mirror there's nothing unusual there but I wish my hair didn't get so messy.

walks downstairs to lounge
greets B
sits
Going downstairs to see what B is up to, he's sitting in the lounge. Greeting B, Hiya. I 'll sit down for a moment next to him. Where's my watch. B is taking a sip of his tea, I wonder how long he has been up for. Now I see that he's reading the puzzle book that we got for Christmas, I've got a copy of a mind puzzle that I was given at work, it's in my laptop bag somewhere. Do we have a clipboard somewhere, B thinks we do, one that I had from the last job but I don't remember seeing that for some time. I don't think I'll ever find it. I guess I'm stuck with this hardback A4 notebook to carry around for today.

walks to hall
takes sheet of paper out of bag
walks to lounge
hands paper to B
walks to hall
crouches down
unzips pocket of rucksack
takes watch out
The puzzle is in here somewhere, one of these bits of paper, this one. Got it. Here you go B, it's a lateral thinking puzzle but you should hear the more creative answers that I heard from C and D. Where's my watch, I forgot about it, probably still in my rucksack pocket from swimming last night.This side I think, yes, it's here.

walks to kitchen
puts watch on
switches kettle on
picks up fishfood
takes lid off pot
pours flakes into fishtank
I'm going to make a cup of tea. There's enough water in there, on. The fish look enthusiastic, I'll feed them. Shaking the pot in front of them in the hope that they learn to associate that with being fed. They seem to be reasonably hungry but I can't really tell, I'm kidding myself. This isn't one of my favourite mugs, they must both be in the dishwasher.

opens cupboard
takes mug
closes cupboard
opens cupboard
takes tin
opens tin
takes tea bag
puts tea bag in mug
closes tin
puts tin in cupboard
closes cupboard
I hear the kettle click off

picks up kettle
pours water
There's not too much scum on the surface, I'm happy with that.

talks to B
opens drawer
takes teaspoon
closes drawer
stirs tea with teaspoon
opens fridge
takes bottle of milk
closes fridge removes teabag with teaspoon
drops teabag into bin
puts teaspoon in mug
B's behind me, tells me his resolution to the problem. Just want to make sure that he got to the answer the same way I did, yes, sounds like it. Now I'm impressed, I'm pretty sure that was about twice as fast as it took me. So I'm telling him about C's creative answer and he's amused, I then tell him about D's answer and we laugh about its strange ingenuity. I need a teaspoon to get this teabag out, this one will do, there aren't very many left, must put the dishwasher on. I'm idly pushing the teabag against the mug to get all of the flavour out. I'm putting the milk on the side, B notices the floating fishfood and tells me that he's just fed them. I thought the arrangement was that I feed them so that we don't have this problem every morning. Still, I'm not really bothered, it won't hurt them. B goes on to tell me that he's emptied the bucket of water prepared for the tank in and he's made up another bucket-full. I have to admit, the water is considerably less yellow.

09:15

removes teabag with teaspoon
drops teabag into bin
pours milk into mug
returns bottle to fridge
rinses teaspoon
puts teaspoon on draining board
I think that's plenty brewed now, the teabag can go in the bin. The bin seems to be a carrier bag hanging from a drawer again, don't know why we bother with big plastic bins if we never remember to buy bin liners. I'll rinse this teaspoon since there aren't many in the drawer.

opens cupboard
takes bowl
closes cupboard
takes packet from shelf
opens packet
pours into bowl
takes pill out of packet
swallows pill with sip of tea
writes
I'll have a packet of cereal, if I have chocolate, I'll still want the cereal afterwards anyway. I open this new packet of cereal then. Oh, its already open, perhaps B had some for breakfast, no probably I opened it yesterday. Now that I've remembered, I'll take my pill. Have to stop for a minute to write all of this down, it's daft, writing all these silly little details down, I can't believe I'm documenting such trivia.

closes packet takes packet to fridge
opens fridge
closes fridge
returns packet to shelf
The cereal packet can go back I push the plastic back inside and close the box. I've opened the fridge and I'm standing there with the cereal packet in my hand. This isn't right. I'm not all there this morning. Back to the shelf, the fish dart away as I reach over them to put the cereal back - will they ever learn?

opens fridge
takes two bottles
closes fridge
pours milk into bowl
puts empty bottle on side
puts foil lid in bin
opens second bottle
pours milk into bowl
replaces foil lid
returns bottle to fridge
I haven't put any milk in my bowl yet, that's what I went to the fridge for. This bottle is almost empty, I'm going to need another one. That's that one empty, I'll leave it next to the sink for rinsing later. Holding the foil with one finger, shaking the bottle from side to side a bit before I open it. Just enough to cover my cereal.

opens drawer
takes spoon
closes drawer
puts spoon in bowl
picks up bowl and mug
walks to lounge
I'll put the spoon in the bowl so that its easier to carry, OK I'm done in here.

puts notebook, and tea on chair
sits down
takes notebook
wipes notebook with hand
wipes chair with hand
makes notes
replaces handbook
takes mug
sips tea
puts mug down
I'll sit here so that I can put this notebook and my mug of tea on the chair next to me. There's noise in here but the TV is off, oh, it's the radio. I need to make a couple of notes before I dig into my cereal. What's that on the chair? There's brown powdery stuff everywhere, must be on the back of the notebook, yes it is. I wipe it off and then brush it off the chair. I guess it must be grated chocolate from the kitchen surface, from last night. I'm going to switch the radio off. That's better. Now where's the remote control, oh yes, on the hamster cage where I left it last night. I concetrate on eating my cereal now, with a Batman cartoon to distract me. The artwork has really changed for Batman, it has a whole different image to the old ones, much more sophisticated and ambiguous. I can't really hear the dialogue. Looks like it's on digital from the picture quality, I'll have to switch to analogue to see if there are any subtitles. There are. I'm surprised and glad. What's B doing? Probably getting dressed.

09:30

hands remote control to B
picks up mug
Here he is, dressed. I've dumped my stuff on the only spare chair in the room, so I'd best move it in case he wants to sit down. Here, take this & I'll get the tea - take it, right, there you go.

09:35

puts bowl on floor
drinks tea
sniffs
There's no where else to put it so it can go on the floor here for the moment. I can wrap my hands around my tea now and hope it counteracts the chilly sensations I now have from all that cold milk. I know that I'm distracted by the TV but none of it is really going in at the moment, I just let the images flicker in my eye. I've run out of tea now, I'm staring at the dregs wondering if I want some more.

09:38

writes
This is the end of the second side of my first sheet of A4 paper, in half an hour. That's one side for every 15 minutes. So by the end of a 12 hour stint, I'm likely to have 24 double-sided A4 sheets of paper. Well if it's true, my hand is going to really hurt. Feels like I might have to go for a shit in a minute. I talk to B about having to document my bodily functions. He reckons I can leave them out, hmm, not convinced myself. I can't see the TV now, because the sun has started to shine on it really intensely. I don't really want to watch it anyway but I don't know what else to do with myself. I'll think through how I am going to write this up. I think I should probably do it as a scientific paper - so that it comes across as a serious and objective study. I discuss this with B and he tells me about the third person impassive, or something, anyway it's not much use at the moment because he can't think of an example. Anyway I think I know what he means. That itch isn't going to go away, I'll have to scratch it.

talks to B
watches TV
writes
talks to B

Prompted by the Persil ad on the TV, B mentions that he has managed to get the yellow stain out of my dressing-gown. He explains that he used a new tablet in the washing cycle. What is the plan for today then? B says fix the power sockets in the study even though this involves taking the floorboards up. We could get a carpet fitted afterwards and get one done in the bedroom at the same time. That reminds B, we should go and buy the flooring for the hall whilst the sale is still on.

B leaves room
B also mentions that he wants to vacuum upstairs. He goes out.

picks up mug
picks up bowl
walks to kitchen
I can hear the sound of the vacuum cleaner upstairs now. Didn't take him long to get round to doing that. Bit enthusiastic if you ask me.

opens dishwasher
moves bowls
puts mugs in dishwasher
Well, best get on with something.

opens cupboard
takes dishwasher tablet
closes cupboard
opens wrapper
breaks tablet
places tablet in dishwasher drawer
closes dishwasher
switches on
pushes cycle button
pushes start button

I suppose I should put this thing on, that would be unusually helpful of me. There’s a bizarre red thing in the middle of this tablet, like someone dropped their vitamin pill into it before it set. I guess it has some new special purpose but I really can’t be bothered to find out. Break it in half and then it should fit, no it doesn’t. Again, then - now I have four quarters and that red pill bit that has fallen out. Fits now. I’m putting this on "Normal" because I’m not convinced that "Economy" will do the job.

09:55

walks into hall
picks up jacket
picks up rucksack
opens front door
walks into porch
hangs jacket on hook
puts rucksack down
walks back into hall
closes front door I can’t really put it off any more, I’m going to have a shower now. I’ll just get this stuff out of the way so that the hall isn’t so cluttered.It’s cold in here, as usual. But my feet are freezing, I’m still walking around barefoot.

walks upstairs to spare room
opens airing cupboard
takes towel
walks to landing I need to find my towel. I left it downstairs during the week, hanging on a radiator. B probably thought he just washed it and put it away, so I’ll have a look in the airing cupboard.

takes towel from banister
walks to bathroom
opens washing basket
puts towel in
closes basket
This one can go in the wash now.

10:00

closes bathroom door
undresses
puts pyjamas on laundry basket
puts watch on laundry basket
I wish we had a cosy, warm carpeted, finished bathroom. It’s not too cold in here though. That bath looks horrible.

looks around
picks up detergent
sprays around bath
picks up sponge Right, I’m going to clean it before I shower. Where’s that detergent, it’s down here by the bath. Just need a sponge now, this one will do.

scrubs bath, walls and shower fittings
turns cold tap on
I can’t reach very far up the wall from here, this will have to do, I’m not exactly spring-cleaning.

rinses with shower
turns on warm tap
Just rinse all of that off, mind the edges otherwise it’ll leak through to the downstairs ceiling.

steps into bath
pulls curtain
My feet are so cold against that warm water, hopefully the rest of me is a bit warmer. I’ll just go for it.

rinses hair
I’ll do the works this morning, I seem to have the energy - from cleaning the bath I guess.

shakes bottle
queezes lotion onto hand
replaces bottle
massages into hair
I always have to shake this bottle to get anything out even though I leave it upside-down, it’s really annoying.

rinses hair
takes tube
squeezes lotion onto hand
massages onto face
replaces tube
takes bottle
I remember that disabled lady that served me in a department store over Christmas. She was wheel-chair bound and this particular checkout was upstairs.

takes sponge
squeezes lotion onto sponge
rubs sponge against back
rubs sponge against chest
rubs sponge against arms
puts sponge down

She was really slow with her hands - they were smaller than usual, stumpy little fingers and there were suppressed pained expressions on some of the faces of the Christmas shoppers waiting in the checkout queue. They tried so hard to wait patiently and had these ridiculously strained expressions on their faces which only made it worse because they were quite obviously in a rush.

takes bottle
squeezes lotion onto hand
massages into hair
rinses hair and face
takes tube
squeezes lotion onto hand
massages onto face
takes bottle
squeezes lotion onto hand
massages into hair
rinses hair and face

I wonder if she was really bored in the job but that her alternatives were even more tedious. I am glad that I was able to exchange a few amicable words with her whilst she did my transaction.

takes soap
rubs soap on body
rubs soap in hands
replaces soap
rubs hands on body

The soap I am using smells strange, I always notice that smell when I use this soap, I wonder if it is one of the unexpected ingredients. Could it be coal tar like they have in anti-dandruff shampoos, perhaps that’s a stupid ingredient to have in soap, I don’t know. I could check the packet for the ingredients list.

10:25

turns taps off
shakes shower curtain
reaches for towel
wraps towel around head
reaches for towel
wraps towel around body
sits down on washing basket

writes
picks up bottle
throws bottle in bin
takes bottle from side of bath
throws bottle in bin

I could get my dressing-gown instead of this bath sheet. Oh, I forgot, B has just washed it. I wonder how long this bottle has been down there. There’s an empty shower-gel bottle here as well, but where’s the lid. Of course, it’ll be on the shower fitting where the bottle was hanging from.

takes lid from shower fitting
throws lid in bin
There’s lots of noise going on, I think it was there before but I’ve only just realised. Shuffling around, pipes clanging. Sounds like there’s a howling gale blowing through the extractor fan. It’s not though, must be B doing something.

stands up
picks up pyjamas and watch
walks to landing
takes towel off head
puts towel on banister

B is in the study opposite, looks like he’s doing some wiring under the floor – he’s got the carpet up in one corner.

talks with B
We are discussing the layout of the lighting circuit and how it links through to downstairs. B apologises for not having threaded the tie through my dressing-gown yet. I make it quite obvious that I am not bothered and tell him that I hadn’t expected it to be able to use it. B tells me that he’s about to do some drilling and it’s a bit dusty so I might want to get out. I suggest closing the door but he is adamant that it won’t make too much of a mess and tells me that he’s just done some drilling.

walks to bedroom
sits on bed
writes
I close the bedroom door behind me anyway. The pyjamas and watch get dumped on the bed, I need to sit down again and catch up.

walks to chest of drawers
opens pot
puts finger into pot
rubs lotion onto face
puts finger into pot
rubs lotion onto face

B comes in and starts to take his fleece off. What’s up? Oh you got too hot.He’s putting a T-shirt on instead now.I need to put some moisturiser on my face, it feels really dry. I am watching the colour and texture of my skin change as I rub the moisturiser into my face.

takes comb
combs hair
shakes head
I’ll shake it loose again so that it doesn’t dry straight and flat – at least this way it can curl however it wants.

opens drawer
takes knickers
puts knickers on
walks to corner
Right, knickers, hopefully there’s some in here. Yes but there aren’t any socks. What am I going to wear? Oh joggers and T-shirt will do, they’re there still from yesterday evening.

picks up joggers
puts joggers on
picks up bra and T-shirt
puts bra and T-shirt on bed
picks up braputs bra on
walks to chest of drawers
picks up deodorant
takes lid offrubs under each arm
replaces lidreplaces deodorant
walks to corner
picks up T-shirt

puts T-shirt on
walks to spare room
takes socks out of washing basket
walks to bedroom
I know there aren’t any socks in the drawer, I think I saw them earlier in the lounge or spare room. Spare room I think, I’m pretty sure. Yes, here’s the washing basket, these will do.

sits on bed
separates pair of socks
puts one sock on
puts the other sock on
reaches under bed for trainers
puts trainers on

I could clean the car today, I’ve been meaning to do it for ages and I think I could do it this morning without really hating it. Sun’s out anyway.Now, where did I put my watch whilst I was showering - I left it on the laundry basket.

walks to bathroom
turns and walks to bedroom
picks up watch from bed
puts watch on

It’s not there, I must have brought it into the bedroom then.Oh yes, with my pyjamas.

walks to landing
talks with B

I’m asking B whether the bucket of water in the kitchen can go into the fish tank yet because I need the bucket for washing the car. B says that he prepared it 2 hours ago, he’s already put last night’s bucket in apparently, anyway it might still be a bit cold. I don’t think the temperature difference after two hours would cause them a problem and B agrees. B wants to know why I’m asking so I explain that I want to wash the cars. He wants me to wash his too. I’m worried that I don’t have the energy for both and might not even do one if I know I’m expected to clean both of them so I screw my face up and groan at him.

walks downstairs to kitchen
picks up plastic bowl
fills with water from bucket
pours water from bowl into fish tank
repeats seven times
picks bucket up
empties into fish tank
picks up bucket

The fish don’t seem to be shying away from the fresh water. This one’s a bit enthusiastic, it’s swimming right into the water as I pour it in. I’m holding the container higher so that it makes more bubbles, it might scare the fish away. No! It’s even more enthusiastic about swimming into the stream now.

10:50

walks to utility room
puts bucket into sink
turns taps on
waits for bucket to fill
turns taps off

I’ll make the soapy water for car-washing a little bit warm so that my hands don’t hurt so much from the cold.

moves bottles on shelf
I can’t see the car shampoo, it should be down this end with all of the other car stuff. Maybe we ran out - is this why I haven’t washed the car, because we have run out of shampoo? I’ll check behind all of these bottles.

takes bottle down
unscrews cap
pours liquid into cap
empties cap into bucket
repeats four times
takes sponge from shelf
puts sponge in bucket
picks up bucket
walks to front door
opens front door
puts bucket down in porch
Here it is, that’s a relief . . . . I think.

takes watch off
puts watch in pocket
goes into hall
picks up keys
unlocks porch door
picks up bucket
puts bucket down on doorstep
picks up rubbish bag
puts rubbish bag on doorstep

walks to kitchen
walks to conservatory
unlocks and opens door
walks through garden
unlocks and opens garden gate
walks to outside tap
attaches hose to tap
pulls nozzle of hose
walks to front of house
walks to outside tap
turns tap on

walks to hoze nozzle
puts foot on hoze
moves foot closer to nozzle
picks up hoze by the nozzle
turns nozzle
puts hoze down
walks into hall
picks up keys
moves car
walks to porch
leaves keys on floor

Rats, I should have turned the nozzle off before I turned the water on, it’s going to me moving by the time I get there. I’ll stick my foot here, then work towards the nozzle – hopefully that will stop it from pointing at me.

washes car
starts at back
sponges section
hoses down
repeats

I notice that I can reach the middle of the roof of this car - that’s a novelty to me, all the other cars I have washed have been too high up. Normally, I have to open the door and stand on the step to reach. Next door, C is cleaning the inside of his lounge window, I can see the bottle of spray window cleaning fluid on the windowsill. I keep glancing at him in case I am able to catch his eye & wave but he doesn’t seem to notice me.

Next time I look up, he’s left the room, the bottle and cloth left on the windowsill. Why has he left in the middle of cleaning the window – it’s not like him to not tidy up after himself. Maybe he is still very emotional. Maybe he was crying too much last night to want to show his face. He’s been so sad since his wife died, I really feel for him.

I’m just at the end of washing my car, and as I look up, I notice the opposite neighbour getting into the passenger seat of a small black car, probably her son’s. It drives away before I am able to catch her eye. As I’m cleaning the bonnet, I notice my reflection in the windscreen and realise that my hair has gone haywire – it’s dried sticking out all over the place and has gone manically curly.

C drives past, smiling at me - I wave at him & he waves back. I guess he’s not all that upset then. I’m happier now.

walks to porch
picks up keys
gets in car
tucks hair behind ear
parks car round the corner
walks into hall
puts keys down
picks up another set of keys
walks to B’s car
moves car

I’ll have to put my car round the corner so that I can move B’s into a sensible position. I’m not going to park it so that all 4 wheels are on the pavement like one of our neighbours does.

washes car
starts at back
sponges section
hoses down
repeats

A teenage boy comes out of the house further up the road, he’s bending down by the front tyre, I’ve no idea whether it’s his car or what he is doing so I keep watching him whilst I carry on with the car washing. He’s walking round the front now, it looks like he might own it from the way he’s apparently fussing over it without actually doing much.Now he’s returning from somewhere, I didn’t see him go. He’s got the bonnet open and seems to be a bit self-conscious, I think he’s noticed me watching him.I’ll just do the hub caps and then I’m finished, except I forgot to clean the ones on mine.The boy over the road seems to be working on his car now.

parks B’s car back where it was
moves other car Just my hubcaps left, I’m not too worried about them, as long as I get most of the dirt off.

picks up bucket
walks to front door
puts down on doorstep
walks to outside tap
reels hose back in

pulls connector off tap
jumps to one side
forgot to turn the tap off before I disconnected it, that was close, I was almost soaked.

switches tap almost off
rinses hands
switches tap off

Hold a sec, I’m just going to rinse the shampoo off my hands.

11:50

walks into lounge
sits down
writes
I’ve got to write as much of that down as I can remember. My nails are horribly dirty.They’re annoying me now.

walks to kitchen
turns taps on at sink
scrubs hands with soap and brush
rinses hands
opens drawer
takes clean towel
drys hands on towel
pushes down on hand cream dispenser
rubs lotion into hands

talks with B B wants to know what we should do for lunch. I’m not really bothered whether we stay or go except that there’s nothing really interesting to eat in the house. We could find out what D&E are doing.

11:55

walks to lounge with B
B phones D&E to ask them what they are doing for lunch in case we can meet & and go to a pub together. There is no answer so he hangs up. We wonder whether to just walk down to the local or try and find somewhere new. I’m not sure about driving around to find a new pub, didn’t work very well last time we did that.

12:00

B says that he’s going to ring them on D’s mobile and wants to know what the number is so I suggest he looks it up on my mobile.He’s fetched my mobile and is ringing D on the normal phone. They are away for the weekend so the conversation is brief. We decide to wander to the local for a pint just to get out of the house but B wants to finish the wiring first.

walks upstairs, following B
walks round the ladder on the landing
walks into spare room
switches PC on
sits down
Don’t really know what to do with myself for the next few minutes. I’m sure if I sit down at the PC, I’ll find something to amuse me. I can hear hammering going on in the background. Just going to write this stuff down, oh but where’s my watch, in the lounge I think.

walks downstairs to kitchen
walks into lounge
picks up watch
walks upstairs to spare room What am I doing?
Oh yes, watch, lounge.
sits down at PC
types
puts watch on wrist
removes watch
puts watch on other wrist
No, what am I doing, that’s the wrong wrist . . isn’t it . . yes, it goes on this one.
writes
I’ll number some more pages whilst I am waiting for the login to complete.

types and uses mouse
I’ll check to see if I have any mail, that’ll give me something to do if I have. I get two reminders’ for people’s birthday’s that I’ve missed and feel guilty. Why am I so disorganised at home, must try harder. A loud bang in the loft makes me stop and wait, wondering if B is hurt. There are more noises, not so loud.

types and uses mouse
I’ve got two messages, the first one is from X about this project and the second is junkmail. I read the first message with interest and delete the junkmail.I’m filing the message from X under the gallery name. The message was encouraging and I have a little more resolve to finish this project. I agree with the points X makes in her mail, they seem very astute. I’m not sure whether the notes I am making are honest enough, or objective or even subjective enough. I feel encouraged by X’s mail and determined to carry on. But I just want to play a game for while, to rest, so I’m closing my mail program down and hanging the dial-up connection.Finding the icon for this game is always a pain so I’m dragging a shortcut to the desktop.

12:15

At least whilst I’m playing this there’s not so much to document – I’m not really moving around much and my thoughts are almost entirely focused on the game, with it’s irritating background music filling any gaps where thoughts might conspire to happen.B’s standing behind me now, I glance at him to confirm that he’s watching the game and not waiting to ask me something. We exchange some banal comments about the progress of the game and he then asks if I’m ready to go to the pub. I grunt a concession and he leaves.

13:00

walks to bathroom
pushes door to
sits down on toilet
urinates
takes toilet paper
wipes
stands up
flushes
Bored of this game now, I’m closing it down and shutting the PC off.

walks downstairs to hall
rummages in handbag
walks into porch
crouches down
takes purse and rings
puts rings on
picks up purse
stands up
walks into hall
I need to find my purse before we go to the pub.

talks with B
picks up keys
walks out of house
B asks me if I have any money, I’m standing here checking in my purse. Here’s fifteen quid and there’s some change so there’s plenty even if we decide to eat. I watch B lock the door and wait for him to come down the steps.A small black car drives up and our neighbour waves at B as she gets out. B waves back. I’m three steps behind everything at the moment, trying to catch up with time. I manage to grin in her direction before she disappears.

walks along pavement
puts arm around B’s arm
walks along pavement
takes arm away
crosses road
puts arm around B’s arm
walks along pavement
The cold wind out here has woken my appetite and I think about having lunch in the pub. I’m putting my arm round his to keep my hand warm.

walks down path
crosses road
Nearly forgot about the shortcut - I was going to walk straight along the pavement. Just as well one of us is awake.The sign outside still has "Yes, we are still here" chalked up and I wonder whether the move fell through at the last minute.

walks into pub
hands purse to B
The people on the table behind us as we walk through to the bar suddenly burst into raucous laughter and I glance round at them. I’m handing my purse to B with a grin and I ask him for a pint. I hate having to speak to people in loud places - I always have to repeat myself.

picks up pint
B speaks to the landlady and orders our pints. We take our pints and go in search of a table.

walks to table
speaks to lady
walks round table
speaks to lady
The only spare table in this part of the pub is a tiny round one with two chairs. It’s really close to a table of four but doesn’t look like its taken. I ask the lady sitting nearest whether it’s free but she doesn’t answer even though we made eye contact. I don’t think she heard me. As I’m walking round the table, I catch her eye again and ask the question re-phrased with fewer words and a bit louder. She confirms that there’s only chair taken at their larger table, the one with the jacket on, so I thank her and sit down.

sits down on chair
moves table closer
shifts chair back
moves table closer
B asks me to move the table because there’s not enough room for him to get his legs under.

puts notepaper on table
I’ve put my notes down on the table but I have to tell B not to read them otherwise I might get paranoid about what I am writing down.

talks with B
writes
talks with B
B suggests that we have a baked spud for lunch and I complain saying that I thought we were going to eat here but it really doesn’t look like he wants to.I point out that having to write this stuff down is one hell of a conversation stopper and I think I should cut down on the amount that I write. I reckon that there’s no point in trying to document our conversations because I simply can’t write that fast.

talks with B
writes
talks with B

Whilst we are talking I realise that I am holding my chin and sometimes rubbing it like a man who’s thinking about shaving. I promise to keep an eye on myself and try to kill that habit.

talks with B
writes
talks with B
I just caught myself putting the end of the pen into my mouth. I probably would have chewed it if I wasn’t watching myself so closely knowing that I have to write everything down.

talks with B
writes
talks with B
The pub is very busy and the noise level is alienating. I notice that my hand is cold from holding the pint glass so I’m trying to sit still without holding onto it. Its annoying me that B doesn’t want to eat here and I have no interest in having a baked spud for lunch.

talks with B
writes
talks with B
B asks about work and I start to talk about the projects that I am working on. We go on to talk about what is going on at work for me and discuss various projects in some depth, comparing them to B’s work. I find myself fiddling with my necklace and realise that it has got caught on something. I ask B if he can see what is going on with it. B tells me that it has got a thread from my jumper around it. The discussion about work has woken me up a bit and I feel like actually looking around me - I feel less "introverted".

B asks me if I want another pint, he’s going to get another one.

I release the clasp, remove the necklace, placing it on the table, then pick it up again by the clasp and put it back on. My face is warming up a little now and I am less inclined to hold onto my pint glass, almost as though I thought it would warm me up, like a cup of tea. I’m suddenly much more aware of the noises and people around me in B’s absence. The smell of food is odd, a bit too meaty and vaguely nauseous. I experience a fleeting affinity with the young girl who is sitting next to me facing her table, with her legs cross-legged up on the chair, reading a book. She appears to be unaffected by her surroundings and relaxed.

B returns with his pint.

For some reason, we are now talking about cars. B expresses the desire to sell his and get one with a bigger engine. I accuse him of finding excuses just to get a faster but then add that we should sell his anyway because of the mileage we have put on it. B looks really annoyed with me now. His tone of voice has changed, it sounds like he is really patronising me and I feel myself becoming defensive. I’m going to tell him that he sounds patronising in the hope that he will change his tone. That’s made things worse, he must have been too annoyed already, I’m not going to succeed in changing his mood. B tells me that his reaction is justified. I’ve given up trying to change his mood and tell him bluntly to finish his pint so that we can leave this public arena. He’s refusing to finish it and insists on leaving.

stands up
Now I am really incensed.
walks to pub door
As we get up to leave and navigate the pub tables, I notice that I am a bit disorientated, a bit tipsy I guess. I wonder if the alcohol has affected both our moods. Probably.

walks out of pub
I walk further round the corner waiting for a gap in the traffic, B has already crossed but I didn’t notice until he was already on the other side. I have crossed the road, but I have also walked past the shortcut and B is already walking up it. I could walk back towards him and follow several yards behind but I’m not in the mood for following.

So rather than backtrack, I continue to walk round the long way, choosing not to have to walk with him to avoid any more irritation. I’m taking notes as I walk which slows me down considerably. I am aware of being a tiny fraction slower to focus my eyes than usual. Its getting a bit cold again so I’ll quicken my step. I’ve just passed the other end of the shortcut and note that B is nowhere to be seen. I’ll check behind be in case he’s decided to follow after me but there’s no sign of him. He’s probably already home.

unlocks porch door
walks into porch
closes porch door
unlocks front door
walks into hall
closes front door
It’s still locked so he can’t be back yet.

walks to kitchen
opens cupboard
picks up bag of potatoes
closes cupboard
I know that B wants baked spuds and I don’t have any better ideas so I might as well put some in the microwave.

empties bag into sink
These look horribly old, they’ve got roots growing out and dubious looking grey patches. I’m not going to cook these, they’ve really put me off the idea. But B might still want one, I’ll just leave them here and he can make the decision when he gets back. So what am I going to eat?

opens fridge
takes out bagels
takes out cottage cheese
closes fridge
There’s nothing really enticing here, I could just have a bagel with yeast spread and cottage cheese.
puts bagels on kitchen surface
puts cottage cheese on kitchen surface
picks up bread board
puts down on kitchen surface
opens drawer
takes out bread knife
takes bagel
puts bagel on bread board
cuts bagel in half
puts both halves of bagel into toaster
pushes toaster handle down
The toaster is on setting 3 which should be about right, if not a bit low.

opens cupboard
takes small plate
closes cupboard
opens cupboard
takes jar and puts on kitchen surface
closes cupboard
picks up bagels
opens fridge
puts bagels in fridge
closes fridge
B’s still not here, well I’ve not heard him come in anyway. He could have gone down to the video shop or something.

walks to utility room
sits on toilet
urinates
takes toilet paper
wipes
stands up
flushes
I’m going to go downstairs even though it’s cold, I really can’t be bothered to walk up the stairs and back down again, besides my bagel is nearly toasted. Oh, they’ve just finished, well I’ll be quick.

walks to kitchen
takes bagel halves out of toaster
puts bagel halves on plate
opens drawer
picks up knife
closes drawer
opens jar
spreads paste onto bagel halves
replaces lid of jar
opens drawer
picks up teaspoon
closes drawer
opens cottage cheese pot

I wish these bagels were a bit lest toasted. That wretched toaster is unpredictable at the best of times.

fills teaspoon with cottage cheese
empties teaspoon onto bagel half
repeats

licks teaspoon
puts teaspoon in dishwasher
replaces lid of cottage cheese
picks up cottage cheese
opens fridge
puts cottage cheese on fridge shelf
closes fridge

picks up bagel halves
puts bagel halves onto plate
picks up plate
Time for another escapist session at the PC I think.

puts plate down
I could do with some liquid to go with these though, orange squash will do.

opens cupboard
takes pint glass
opens cupboard
takes squash bottle
opens squash bottle
pours liquid into glass
replaces lid of squash bottle
opens cupboard
puts squash bottle in
closes cupboard
turns cold tap on
fills pint glass up
turns tap off
picks up plate

I glance at the front door as I’m moving around in the kitchen, I don’t know where he’s got to, it’s not like him to be moody. I’m a bit annoyed as though he wanted me to be. Could he already be in the house? But he would have had to lock the door behind him. No, that’s not like him, it’s too petty, he wouldn’t even think of it.

walks upstairs to landing
looks into bathroom and study
walks into bedroom
walks into spare room
switches PC on
sits down
puts plate and glass on table

He’s not in any of these rooms, so he’s not here. I’m glad I didn’t find him here and then have to speak to him knowing that he had locked the door behind him.

I connect to the internet and startup my mail program. It’s behaving strangely, taking far too long to check each mailbox, I’m bored, so eventually I kill it. As it is loading a second time, I am sitting eating my bagel, staring at an aeroplane passing through a cloud. I hit send and receive and nothing happens, for several minutes. It’s never been this slow before, I am irritated with it. I am on my last bit of the second bagel now and have eaten all the way round the edge so that I have just a tiny ring left. The mail program eventually comes back with an error message saying that it cannot find the server. I wonder if the server is down and drop the connection.

14:30

I decide to play a game instead.

14:38

B is back. Tells me that he has been chatting to the neighbours. Now he’s standing behind me and rubbing my shoulders. He’s telling me the gossip about the neighbours convertible car roof being slashed. I respond accordingly but not enthusiastically. B goes away again.

14:55

walks to the bathroom
pushes door to
sits down on toilet
urinates
takes toilet paper
wipes

I need the toilet, I’ll put this on pause.

stands up
flushes
I could do with a cup of tea to warm me up.

walks into spare room
picks up plate
walks downstairs to kitchen
fills kettle from water jug
switches kettle on
picks up mug from kitchen surface
rinses mug
puts mug down
opens cupboard
picks up tin
opens and takes teabag
closes tin
puts tin in cupboard
closes cupboard

As I am making a cup of tea, B parts with a little more gossip. This time it’s about the new sofa that they have just ordered, a cream leather one. The microwave is making a noise in the background but it’s not cooking, it’s only cooling down. B has already cooked his spud and is preparing is food on a plate. He leaves the room.

picks piece of food from plate
eats piece of food

I pinch a bit of cold chicken from his plate and am just putting it in my mouth as he returns. I pretend to look guilty

pours water into mug
picks up teaspoon
stirs
removes teabag with teaspoon
drops teabag into bin
opens fridge
takes milk bottle
closes fridge
removes foil from milk bottle
pours into mug
replaces foil lid
opens fridge
puts milk bottle in
closes fridge

picks up mug
walks to microwave
puts mug on notebook
opens drawer
picks up mug from notebook
puts mug on kitchen surface
walks to sink
tips liquid from papers into sink
picks up cloth
wipes paper
puts cloth down

I balance my cup of tea on the notebook so that I can open the drawer where the chocolates are without having to put anything down. I’ve just spilt it on my notes, must have lost my balance. That didn’t work then. I quickly take the paper to the sink, let the liquid run of and wipe it swiftly with a thin sponge.

walks to microwave
takes chocolate bar out of drawer
closes drawer
picks up mug
walks to lounge

I’m going to sit in the lounge and "veg" in front of the TV.

sits down on floor
blows on tea
sips tea
watches the TV screen
opens chocolate
eats chocolate
sips tea
puts chocolate wrapper on floor

The tea has crinkled that piece of paper so I leave the back of it blank and start a new sheet. I sitting down on the floor of the lounge facing the TV. I’ve blown the top of my tea in circular movements and now I’m blowing it in a criss-cross pattern, like a grid. Eventually I take a sip but it’s still too hot. I notice that the taste of tea never quite lives up to the feel of the warm mug in your hand and the action of blowing the top. There is some bizarre TV program on - B has the remote control and is sitting on a chair eating his spud. I know that I am not going to watch this program for very long.

15:28

picks up chocolate wrapper
crawls to bin
puts chocolate wrapper in bin
crawls back
rolls over onto back

Finish my tea and I’m getting bored and tired. I am not sure that I have the energy to to any work. I crawl over the lounge carpet to the bin to throw my chocolate wrapper away. I’m suddenly very tired and roll over onto my back & close my eyes for a couple of minutes. I blame my drowsiness on the pint. B leaves the room and makes noises in the kitchen. I stare at the underside of the ironing board thinking almost nothing at all.

13:38

stands up
walks upstairs
stops halfway up
turns around

B comes back in & starts to follow me upstairs. I’m complaining to him that I am tired. He suggests going to sleep. I hate sleeping in the day so I tell him I don’t want to. He then suggests going to a DIY store to get wood for the cupboard we are building and mauls me about a bit trying to wake me up and instill some enthusiasm. I haven’t got the energy for this.

pushes B
repeats

He’s standing two steps below me still. We push each other around a bit on the stairs half-heartedly bullying each other till eventually B gets bored of it and tells me he’s going to bed. I hate it when he does this.

walks to spare room
I’m looking at the PC, not particularly tempted by it and annoyed that B’s gone to bed.

walks into bedroom
sits on the bed
sits on B
walks into spare room

I’m going into the bedroom to pester B to see if I can get him to get up again and amuse me. He’s vaguely responsive to start with but won’t get out of bed so I give up and return to the PC even more bored and irritated.

16:05

I stop the game that I left playing and press play on the CD remote control. I start messing around with a drawing package not really sure what I am aiming to do.

17:00

I am creating a couple of banners to advertise my web site, one of which is animated, hoping that they will attract a better click through rate than my previous one. I mail a friend to tell him that I have created them and ask if he will replace the old banner with whichever of these he thinks will work the best.

17:02

I search the web for examples of "passive tense" used in scientific papers documenting experiments. Now I’ve somehow ended up looking at web pages about NMR Spectroscopy. I wonder if B would be interested in some of these organic chemistry sites. I’m going to copy some of these interesting diagrams and graphs, hoping that they will inspire some drawings at some point.

17:40

I can hear B in the bathroom. Now I can hear water running. I’ve just got to a web page that allows you to run an analysis on a remote NMR machine. I don’t really understand how this could work so I call B. He is standing behind me and tells me which of each of the options to choose. I’m clicking on the button to run the experiment and we wait for the screen to download. The site returns a message saying that the machine is not currently available for running new experiments and only the results of the last experiment can be displayed. I’ve already seen those, they’re boring.B’s turns round and is leaving the room.I’m hanging up the modem now.

walks to the bathroom
pushes door to
sits down on toilet
urinates
takes toilet paper
wipes
stands up
flushes

turns round

I stare at myself in the mirror, pick a couple of spots, pull a few hairs out with tweezers, then decide to go and find B.

walks into spare room
picks up glass
walks to kitchen
puts glass down
walks to lounge
stand behind B sitting in chair
talks to B

He’s in the lounge. He is sitting in a "directors" chair in front of the TV. I’m massaging his shoulders gently as I notice that he is folding clean clothes from the washing basket.

sits down on floor

He’s finished the larger clothes now and is left with the socks, which he starts to pair up. I sit down on the floor to help him.

talks to B

We discuss what to have for supper. I am peckish but B is not hungry so I decide to have a bowl of cereal.

walks to kitchen
opens cupboard
picks up bowl
closes cupboard
takes cereal packet from shelf
opens cereal packet
pours cereal into bowl
closes packet
replaces packet on shelf
puts some cereal into mouth

opens fridge
takes bottle of milk
closes fridge
takes lid off bottle
empties milk into bowl
puts bottle next to sink
puts lid in bin
opens fridge
takes bottle of milk
opens bottle
pours some milk into bowl
replaces lid
opens fridge
puts bottle in fridge
closes fridge
opens drawer
picks up spoon
puts spoon into bowl
picks up bowl

walks into lounge
sits on floor
puts bowl on floor

I want to watch this film but I can’t really hear the dialogue. I’ll go and get my hearing-aid, where will it be? Um . . in the bedroom I think.

stands up
walks upstairs to bedroom
picks up hearing-aid
walks downstairs to lounge
sits down on cushion
puts hearing-aid in
picks up bowl
eats cereal

18:20

stands up
picks up bowl
walks to kitchen
puts bowl down on kitchen surface

I can see B ironing out of the corner of my eye as I watch the TV and eat my cereal. I’m going to make a cup of tea in a minute so I ask him if he would like one and he says yes.

18:30

switches kettle on
opens cupboard
picks up two mugs
puts mugs on kitchen surface
opens cupboard
picks up tin
opens tin

puts teabag in one mug
puts another teabag in the other mug
closes tin
replaces tin
closes cupboard
opens drawer
takes teaspoon
closes drawer
pours water into both mugs
opens fridge
takes milk bottle
closes fridge
puts bottle down on kitchen surface
stirs both teabags with teaspoon
removes teabags and drops into bin
pours milk into each mug
takes milk bottle
opens fridge
puts bottle in fridge
closes fridge

There’s a small cut just below my little finger, on the palm side of my left hand. I’ve only just noticed it.

picks up both mugs
walks into lounge
puts one mug on table
picks up floor cushion
walks to other corner
puts cushion down
sits down on cushion
crosses legs

18:45

sits watching TV
stands up
walks into hall
picks up leaflet
picks up pen
walks into lounge

Getting bored of the TV, I have started twirling my hair with my right hand and am holding my mug of tea against my left cheek. I remember that I have a form to fill in for an ISA and fetch it from the hall notice-board.

19:15

writes on form
talks with B

The form is completed. I have had various discussions with B about the information I am filling in and the options I have to choose from. He asks what the investment limit is and is concerned that the form I have is for a mini ISA and perhaps is the wrong choice of savings scheme. I decide to discuss it at the information desk at the bank the following day. I wonder if I can do this online.

19:20

picks up container
speaks to hamster

Notice that the hamster is chewing on the wooden core of a finished nut stick.

removes alfa-alfa stick
puts container down
removes stopper from side of cage
puts alfa-alfa stick in
replaces stopper

I watch the daft animal trying to get the alfa-alfa stick up the tube to the next room. She spends a good few minutes working at this.

19:25

walks upstairs
sits down at PC
shouts to B downstairs

Decide to check out the ISA options online C is going to come upstairs and discuss them with me. B shouts up that he’s just found a program he wants to watch so he’ll come up when it finishes. Go to the online banking page and try to log in. Realise that I don’t remember what password I have used. B comes up the program was already near the end. Eventually I lock the account out on the third attempt.

picks telephone up
dials
speaks to receiver
hangs up
talks with B

I’m going to phone the bank to get a new PIN. They agree to send one in the post but it takes 4/5 working days. We then go to the normal banking page and I realise that I didn’t need to log into the online banking area to get this information anyway.

20:00

Fed up of logging this stuff. Not going to do any more. That’s it.